After a long battle with infertility, I sit here today 5 weeks pregnant. We have kept our struggle very private. Not telling people anything was so much easier than retelling our pain to people over and over again. I couldn’t deal with the questions every month asking “if it worked” and feeling like a failure. I felt that nobody could possibly understand or console my pain or fears, with the exception of a friend who battled infertility for 2 years to have her first. My story is somewhat rare. My condition is misdiagnosed and wrongly treated by doctors all the time. I feel the need to share my story now to raise awareness…if only to a few people.
Our lives were forever changed on September 8, 2008 when our beautiful daughter Sydnee was born. She was and is perfect in every way. 3 weeks after delivering her, I had a severe hemorrhage due to a portion of retained placenta. An emergency D&C was performed to stop the bleeding. Just before being wheeled into surgery, I remember asking my doctor to PROMISE ME that I will make it through to see my daughter again. The bleeding was that severe and I could see the fear in my normally strong and unshaken husbands’ eyes. The next 6 months came and went but my cycle never did. In March 2009, I was diagnosed with Ashermans Sydrome. My cervix was completely blocked with scar tissue due to the D&C. Something like only 1% of women have a postpartum hemorrhage and about 25% of those can end up with Ashermans. Somehow I hit the unlucky lottery. I had surgery with Dr. Brinton and was put through some hormone therapy to get things working again. We started trying to conceive in July 2009 knowing that it would most likely be a difficult journey. By March 2010 we were ready for some help. We returned to Dr. Brinton who performed my surgery. After our 7th IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination) attempt, we got the good news on October 30th. We were of course happy. But having suffered one very early miscarriage in this process already, we are still guarded.
To make sure the pregnancy was normal, I had my beta levels taken several times. They are supposed to double every 48 hours. My first was 67, 3 days later it was at 203 and 4 days after that it went to 1982. After this last beta, I feel like I am actually pregnant. It feels like it is real. We have an ultrasound scheduled for November 20th to find out if there are “one or two in there” as the doc put it! Twins are a possibility and would be a blessing. But we are praying to God every night for at least one. Until that ultrasound when I see a heartbeat…I am still holding my breath. I am staying positive and doing all I can. But part of me doesn’t want to get my hopes up too high….just in case.
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